I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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