Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
