hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I supernannyed him into submission
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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