I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i've created a new STD.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
