A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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