Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
