Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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