last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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