He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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