Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
