fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize