Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
