Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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