New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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