Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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