This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
