I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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