Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
