we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
