**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
