Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
