she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
