And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
