it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize