sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
smell my finger.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
