now i know why i became what i already was.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
