if you like me you must not know who I am
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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