My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
