so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize