dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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