when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
