this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
