Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You're like the curious george of whores
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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