kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
ugly people sure do ruin things
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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