Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
