My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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