I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize