just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
