I need to stop coming to work sober
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
