Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
