I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I need water and some morals
I smell like Dick and happiness
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
