How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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