Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
