they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We are two peas in an std pod
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize