For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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