North Korea, Best Korea!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
