we're chasing vodka with high fives
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
