About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
