I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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