I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
