Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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