why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
