I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
