I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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