he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
