I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
