You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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