I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
