McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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