This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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