he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I think I just sharted jello shots
that may or may not have been my penis.
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