The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
