ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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